In the era of applications for dating, instant messengers and notifications of reading messages, we are increasingly faced with the confusion in the understanding of each other. To part or to pause, you no longer need to clap the door or „go to the village, to the aunt, to the wilderness, to the Saratov“. It is enough to ignore the message. What dangerous trends in relations have appeared now?
In the days of beautiful knights and the ladies awaiting their hearts, it was hardly possible to like this. The distances were large, they lived little, and there was no time to exchange for strange games in communications. Now the world has moved together with all its feelings and thoughts to smartphones and computers, and long distances have collapsed to one click. And no longer needs to jump on a horse for a month to confess the love of the beautiful princess, who will also ask you three riddles, and it’s good if you survive.
Today, relationships flare up in an instant and also disappear in an instant, sometimes in a very strange way. There were even special names for such incomprehensible tricks in communication. The coach, personal and pair consultant from Hamburg, the author of several books about relationships and emotional dependence, Eric Hermann explains what the essence of new trends and how to behave in such situations.
One of the partners suddenly stops communication, without explaining anything to the other. Disappears like a ghost. Ignores any attempts to talk and find out the reasons. Messages can be marked as read, but no answer will follow. Even if you met and everything seemed to be good. This can happen even when your relationship has already begun to proceed to persistent affection. After all, you spent a lot of time together. And therefore, for the one who has been shown, such disappearance can become not only painful, but also traumatic.
„What did I do wrong? What am I to blame?»The list of questions for yourself can be continued endlessly. Anyone who preferred to become a ghost, cowardly, is sure Eric Hermann, otherwise he would directly say that he was not
satisfied, or that he found another or another, or explained that he is now a difficult period and he needs to understand himself. Any intelligible explanation would be a solution to the problem. But he is not capable of it. His strategy is to escape. Where is its roots, let his personal psychotherapist understand.
How to react?
You must remember that you are not to blame for anything. Do not build assumptions what “serious obstacles” prevented him from finding a way to contact you. When we need, we pass through the walls. But he or she did not do it. Goster has some kind of psychological processes and internal conflicts. Do not waste time and effort on the ghost, wait for an answer from him. Try to recover soon after an unpleasant incident. It is better to focus on those who show you serious interest and for whom you are not just another phone number in the list of contacts.
This is the Jesuit form of the living room. Когда партнер сначала возвышает другого, осыпает вниманием, щедрыми комплиментами, признаниями в любви чуть ли не с первого свидания. This, by the way, should alert you – after all, you understand that it takes time for serious feelings. And in one or two days they will definitely not arise. But you missed compliments and adoration so much!
And so, when you have emotionally completely joined the relationship and are already one hundred percent sure that you met the love of your lifetime, you get a blow under your breath and acute pain. Your „loved one“ suddenly turned a switch. He disappears from radars, calls and messages are ignored, meetings are canceled or missed.
How to react?
The danger of this type of toxic relationships is that you, once in the epicenter, can be led for a long time in successful acquaintances and sincerity of a partner. And you will feel in all compliments a catch. Keep in mind: not every man or woman behaves like this. In fact, these people make up a rather small part of the population of the planet.
What is important when meeting is to quickly recognize and avoid these characters. And the first signal is a too abundant and inadequate stream of compliments, and even more talk about marriage, large plans for the future and great love for life. See? Red bulb has already caught fire!